I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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