he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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