why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
