i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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