goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize