Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
