As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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