Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
