please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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