Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
