im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
