Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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