HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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