So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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