In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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