The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
