haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
