Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This girl is more easily done than said...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
