Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
