The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
