This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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