I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
