ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
