you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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