I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
