We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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