GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
