i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
