Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
