This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
