Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
