I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
