Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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