They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
