how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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