How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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