im about as happy as oj after his trial
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
