Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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