Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the raccoons are back...
Randomize