Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
A+ Viking dick
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
