Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
