i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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