I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
