I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
