I wish i was in the wii world.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
