Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
