Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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