Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
