i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
