all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
