He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
