More tranny stories later!
Operation Purity has been aborted
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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