wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
