Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you win again, gameday.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
