Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
