their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
