Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
