Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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