just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
COCAINE IS GR8
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
