whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
