she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
where are you?
Hypothermia
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
