I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Randomize
