Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
