Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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