I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
