Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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