I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
