i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
