I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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