Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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