wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
