you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
