at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
