Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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