i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
