it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize