oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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