The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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