Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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