this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
