I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
