we're blogging at a bar
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
