I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
