it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
